I get questioned a lot on why I devote so much time to this whole feminism thing. It's rough. And it's depressing. Recently someone asked why I post so much negative stuff on facebook. I get accused of "preaching to the choir" a lot, or participating in an "internet circlejerk". And I can see the point there. I can see how it would look that way. So this post is about why I do "this", with "this" meaning "challenge the oppression systemic in our society" or alternately "talk about a lot of boring depressing shit none of us can do anything about". I'm punctuating this with feminist memes because feminists in general (less so me) get accused of "not having a sense of humor".
Reason #1: Sometimes You CAN Do Something
A few things I post about regularly are action oriented. Meaning you can help. Keeping people up to date on anti-reproductive-rights groups is genuinely helpful in slowing those groups down. Signing petitions, writing letters to senators, attending protests, and informing friends actually does help. Abortion restrictions keep getting passed, true, but I genuinely think if feminists weren't making a huge fuss over it they'd be much worse already. (Unrelated note: I'm trying to stop using the term "women's issues" in reference to reproductive rights issues, as not all people who need birth control & abortion services are women)
Sure, sometimes I'm preaching to the choir... but sometimes I'm not. The people who don't have fully formed opinions on these issues aren't likely to comment. But they read. They absorb. They learn. I am shocked again and again as I get occasional private messages from facebook friends I don't see often saying "I really appreciate what you post on facebook". It took years of lurking for my opinions to coalesce into the radical feminist* I am today.
I used to be a "colorblind" pro-life evopsych libertarian. Not something I'm particularly proud of, as you may have guessed. But you know what? My opinions changed. And today, my views are still changing, altering, expanding. I try to take in new points of view and weigh them against my current understanding. I'm always trying to make my language more inclusive, and I try my hardest to really consider the situation when someone calls me out. And I fail, all the time. I get defensive and then later realize I was in the wrong. When I can, I try to apologize for this.But I'm learning, changing. My mind is being challenged to see things from new perspectives every day and I love it. And if I can be that for just a half dozen people? That's enough for me to keep on keepin' on.
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| Hey! I shared this on facebook! I'm not ALWAYS negative! |
Reason #4: Feminists Mess Up Too
And when feminists mess up, they need to be called out, just like everyone else. Case in point: fat-shaming is bad. Saying "real women have curves" is also bad. Shaming "sluts", presuming all Muslim women are Muslim because they're oppressed, and making fun of femininity are all things well-meaning feminists do sometimes. But they're sexist, xenophobic, and racist things. So even the "choir" needs some reminding sometimes. And note, as above, that totally includes me too.
Sexism is so systematic in our language & culture. I work in a toystore**. And every day, from friends, family, and even feminists, I hear "well they just come out different". My father (and I love him dearly) uses me as an example all the time. When I was tiny I loved nurturing things. I loved dresses. I was not a natural at math. This was not pushed on me by my parents. I know that quite well. But I also loved climbing trees. I hated pink. I had crushes on girls (by what... age 4?). Mudfights were the best, even if it meant getting hosed down before coming inside. My favorite TV shows were Johnny Quest & Scooby Doo. So yes, sure, I was naturally nurturing. But I was a host of things. I'm not disputing that each individual child comes out different. It's definitely clearly nature & nurture that make us who we are. But that doesn't mean "girls and boys are just different, so don't worry about gender gaps".
There are so many little ways we can fight against language. I never ask what gender a child is to help pick a present, I always ask what does this child like to do? I try to compliment little girls on something other than their looks. And I relentlessly bring up the oppression that exists in our society because we can make it better for future generations.
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| Read the full comic at Hark a Vagrant |
Some days, I feel like there are more straw feminists than actual feminists. And in some ways, it may be true, since straw feminists exist only in the minds of anti-feminists and they are many. So I try to come in and say "I'm against circumcision!", "I'm against racism!", "Birth control for men would be AWESOME", "men can be raped & women can rape", just to dispel a few myths. It can be exhausting having to say these things over and over again just to get to my point, but hey... at least every person who hears me hears an actual feminist... not the "feminist" Rush kept talking about.
Some days, I'm a downer. I know this. I know this because it hurts me too to read an article about some horrific human rights violation on the other side of the world. But you know what? I should be angry. And you should too. Because our anger is what keeps them at bay. If no one were angry, things would be much, much worse. So no, I'm not going to stop being a downer. I'm going to raise hell. And hope.
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| I'm just going to leave this here. |
*I'm a trans-INCLUSIVE radical feminist... I refuse to let TERFs*** take the term "radical feminism" away from me.
** For those of you who know or ever find out what toystore... know that my beliefs as stated here are... ya know... mine. Feminism subtly influences how I approach my job, but it is not something I discuss at work and my place of work is apolitical.
** TERF = Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist (translation: bigoted anti-trans jerkface)
